this is for you

Someone is getting jealous, hence this post :D

To my 9 years church bestie:

DIANA ONG YU-MEI

(who always ignore my text msg when i start to get lame. yea, that's YOU. haha.)

I was looking for pictures of the both of us.

But i can't find any D:

The best i can get (and it's from fb) is this.

Sad ah.

And this is like, 2 or 3 years ago!

We need more picturessssssssss.

I changed my specs, i don't wear that shirt anymore, i have longer hair now.

That pic is so long ago.

When our dear lucy is still here.

I still remember, it's her farewell :p

From vbs helpers in form 1, sleeping in the conference room, talking about MM ( do you still remember? haha!)

Until now, counting down the days before you leave for UK.

Sigh. 1 less friend in malaysia land.

And i guess you'll be staying there for good.

Setting up your B&B :D

I'll see you in the nursing home, chasing you around with the walking stick.

hehe!

you wouldn't know

you know, i always enjoyed having dinner with you.

Though it's only once a week.

But i always look forward to it :D

laughing over nonsense,

complaining over similar problems (cacated notes, terrible naps.. .. k not really complaining la) haha.

I think i'll miss your presence when you go for exchange.

:(

have to pick up the momentum.

work through me.

:3

p.s flower from the ok-quite-thoughtful guys from my course during v day. haha. very nice of them to give flowers to all the girls. So if you do the math, one guy needs to contribute around 15 flowers. (cuz there's only 3 guys! hah. )

Praise God man!

:)

Stats results didn't turn out too bad!

I'm already expecting for the worse, preparing it to be below average.

BUT it didn't! it's within the average, though i think half the people will be full marks for it.

Yups so all my sorrow for my mistakes was unnecessary. hehe.

Moral of the lesson: there's always h.o.p.e. AND STILL, READ THE WHOLE QUESTION BEFORE ANSWERING!

Anyways, enjoyed the sermon last sunday, very insightful of God's love towards each and everyone of us, scripture taken from Hebrews 10:1-18.

A few points to share:

1. God send His only child to die for each and everyone of us only because He treats us equally precious, or even more precious than Jesus.

This is something new to me cuz i never thought of it this way, like having the same 'precious-ness' as Jesus.

2. Being in a performance basis society, we always strive to perform to gain approval. However, this is not true in God's eyes. He doesn't need our performance because He IS proud of each of us cuz of who we are.

Yups, this thought came in timely cuz lately i feel quite dissapoint with myself for not being able to share like how others can during cell group or devotion. Feeling very frustrated for not being as eloquent as others. This is like trying to perform well to satisfy myself. I realised that why do i worry about all these. If i can't say well, so be it, don't have to be pressured by others when sharing time is the time to listen, share honestly and not about faking up a good speech.

Well, there are still some others but i'll stop here cuz i can't really remember the others. These are the 2 that left the most impression on me. hehe.

Sermon was great, though at one point i dozed off for that one second but it has been quite awhile since the last time i actually enjoyed a sermon. Overwhelmed. and teared abit too. hoho. Something that probably won't happen back in my home church. lol.

It's getting late, i need to get back my momentum in studiesssssssss.

... ... ...

So, i guess it's time for some updates.

Been feeling quite stressed up, seriouslyidunnowhy.

Cuz it's mid term week? But i doubt so cuz i couldn't recall having such situation last semester. Maybe no up til THIS extent.

Symptoms:

Pressure in my head.

This gets worse when i strain my brain.

It's like the more i try to figure out something, the more the pressure comes.

It's like a clogged pipe, the more water trying to flow thru the more it clogs up. until it explodes. BOOM! *water shooting up*

Teeth tightly clamped. (k i know this is weird!!)

I think i do this unconsciously. due to pressure again??

Sometimes i'll find myself biting hard against my teeth.

Then i'll do the :O :| :\ :/ :O :p :[ mouth exercise to loosen up the muscle around.

Waking up at 4 plus.

By my bladder. lol. I tried this before so it's nothing new.

So i'm hoping my quality sleep can come back!

So annoying. Tried to sleep back but can't really. toss turn toss turn until oh it's 6am time to wake up.

Today is the first time i woke up by my alarm since dunno how long. although it's 4.30am but cuz i slept early so i decide to wake up early to finish my help sheet (some call it cheat sheet) for my test today.

Talking about my test today.

*hides in the corner* ashamed by my careless mistake.

I'd rather i not spot it.

Since spotting it won't make any difference since it was after the lecturer announced time is up.

It only makes me feel more helpless, thinking whether to change or not to. If change, then how? While still thinking furiously... the paper was collected. sigh.

It's just a small mistakes la but this test was actually quite easy and easy test can be a bad thing here. Small mistakes can cost alot.

K enough of ramblings. What's over is OVER. Get OVER it man!

Note to self: read the WHOLE sentence next time, not half of it :/

Anyways, i'm feeling ok now. not bad :)

Cooked instant porridge (so salty), had canned gui ling gao ( kla got satisfy my taste buds abit) while fb-ing, checking out kinkybluefairy. yes, i think i'm addicted to her blog .__.

Pray for me la if you can.

I'll try to take things easy. No worries i won't go crazy.

There goes week 1.

Since the pool will be closed for the polo competition, i can't go swimming this weekend. So i went jogging this morning. After coming back all sweaty i did my laundry and planned to bath while i wait for the laundry to be done. And i realised.. my towel is in the laundry!! kenot bath :/

Sigh, have to wait for one hour.

Last night went to novena square to change my bus ticket back during cny. Initially my ticket was scheduled at 7pm but i've been asking around and heard there might be a chance of traffic jam. I have to be in the airport at about 6 something the next morning so having the idea of traffic jam which makes me miss my flight gets me paranoid. So yesterday morning i went online to check for any available ticket for the earlier schedule. And i found one! i thought it'd be sold out by this time. Call it lucky? heh. I called, and really, took quite awhile for them to pick up my call, and you can imagine how anxious i was. haha. Yeap everything went smoothly so last night i went to collect my ticket. woohoo. Skip class then skip class la, rather than taking the risk.

This semester will be a very sciencey semester for me. All my lectures are in the science faculty, unlike last sem where i had to rush from science to arts or science to biz. There's anxiety on and off, be it studies or daily stuff i.e why certain people get along so well with others but i don't seem to be able to open up. Nonetheless, i am thanking God for the things i have.

I have all kinds of lecturers, you name it, i've got it. First chem lecturer who is really particular about being SILENT during lecture. When there's abit of noise (someone talking), she'll stop, (yes it's a she!) scanned around the lecture hall "the gentleman in blue are you ready" This will happens 3 or 4 times throughout the lecture so when she paused, we know that we have to shut our mouth.

The second chem lecturer reminds me of T-bag. ( you'll know who i'm talking if you watch prison break) Bad accent. Always face this problem with foreign lecturer eh. Hope i'll get used to it, i still have no idea what his class is about -.-

Taking 2 stats modules this sem. The lecturer for my stats core module is having a terrible sore throat, i feel like giving her a 'pei pa gou'. Every 2 sentences she'll clear her throat. Aiks i feel her pain. Kesian her. The other stats teacher is pretty normal. Hahah. Just abit too enthusiastic at times.

My freshman seminar already has 2 assignments :(( one of it is an individual essay. i really dread the essay. mommmmmmmy~~

Anyways i have to trust Him for my studies. In His plans there's no mistake.

Last note, be open minded!

Suddenly, i feel so worried about the new semester, whether i can handle it. Did i choose the correct module, what if i screw up again?

Just bought the statistics book and i think i paid a higher price for it. When i sat in my room, immediately i regretted. I felt that i always made the wrong decisions. I should have consider awhile more and not just buy at the spot. I always have this 'if i want it, i want it now' thing, i think i got it from my dad. Ugh. And i always regretted right after that. Just felt that the money spent is not worth it. There are other people selling just the book for 8dollars, and i paid 20dollars for the book and lecture notes plus past year papers. After thinking much, it's not really worth it.

Abit sakit hati of the money spent. I can only tell myself to save it on somewhere else. Eat less!

Suddenly feeling stress again.

Hope this feeling doesn't last.

Homey sicky. Bleh.