Kenot hwait

Romans 12:2

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Finally, project submission is tomorrow. I just edited my part (for the Nth time) and send it to my group mates. Sometimes it is really frustrating when different people have different opinions and I think this is the first time I struggle so much with a group project. And I realised I am really bad in saying out my point of view in a 'professional' way. One bad habit I realised - whenever I get impatient, I tend to voice out before the other person can finish the sentence. Mehh I need learn to shut up and listen. Not just waiting for the sentence to be finished but really putting aside my own view and take into consideration what others are talking. I really really REALLY hope there will be no more changes. Even if there is, I think I need that extra amount of patience to go through it again. This can drive me up the wall.

Come to think of it, working world might be ten times worse than this. Just be happy that the pain will end tomorrow. Yeshhhhh.

Counting down

Am counting down to the end of the semester! Woohoo! But as usual, my papers are scheduled later than the rest. While people are having their final paper on Saturday, I am just having my second paper. But it is okay, I shall not complain, I need the time to study. One week is not that far away :D

Had my FIRST paper today, felt jittery, as usual. I didn't want to eat breakfast cuz I was worried I might throw up. Yes, very much nervous. But it was all before the exam, the crowded bus ride and the wait outside the exam hall. All the way I felt butterflies in my stomach. The wait outside the exam hall was the worst. Imagine a few hundred students waiting outside the limited space outside the exam hall. Not just hot but crowded. Did not help to relieve the nervousness at all. The paper was okay I guess. Hopefully what I had churned out will be sufficient.

What made my day was the group project! A-! Okay, but I have to say, all credits go to the guy who painfully (who likes writing a 10 pages essay?) wrote and analysed the topic and produced the whole essay. So, it was not really a group project, more of like his project, whereas the rest of us prepared the minor things such as cover page (haha!) and some supporting documents. But, I am just glad and thankful that the project grade was more than what I hoped for. I struggled back then, whether is was the correct way to do, to just let him do most of the things. Conscience said no, but reality (reports waiting for me) forced me to just let it be how he wanted it to be. Perhaps this was the better way to go about. And, he offered to write it on his own... When the tutor congratulated us for doing well, we felt slightly uneasy, or at least for myself. Because deep down, we all know that it was really the guy's effort and this could make a difference in our grade. I can never ever produce anything like that. Me no arts student, kenot write well. So, thank you!

Suffering from post exam syndrome: Reluctance to start revising for the next paper.

PTL!

Lots of work to catch up with but I think what happened today is worth sparing some time to write down. YA Blast ended today. The best thing? The weather. Perfect. We prepared whatever we can but the weather plays a crucial factor. We will be so screwed up if it rains because we have no wet weather plan. Our plan B was to pray extra hard for it not to rain. It drizzled a little while we were on their way there, followed by mild heat from the sun (weird weather) but from 2-6pm the weather was just nice. No scorching heat and no thunder storm. The sun was hidden by the clouds and it made the perfect weather to have outdoor events. I am really glad, still am now that God has been so gracious to us. The games went well too. We managed to end on time and everyone get to play all the station games.The positive feedbacks gave a sense of accomplishment. Heading the team was not easy, stressful at times, especially when you have to coordinate with different people but am thankful that I did not have to do this on my own.

On the other hand, I guess I will say yes to lead PGP CG for the next academic year. I do not know what am I bringing myself to but i know it will be a rewarding experience. I have many reasons to say no but I know in the end I will still agree to do it. It will be a struggle and a commitment for the coming two semesters.

Breathless

Breathing with my mouth now.. sigh. nose block. To make it more terrible, both nostrils are blocked. So I cannot speak long sentences, if not I will find myself gasping for air. And my fan is getting noisier (stress). To the point that I woke up in the night and off it. Imagine me! Switching off a fan! You know how I can't stand heat. But actually not too bad, cuz at night quite cooling and I normally sleep with the lowest fan speed. Well, the technician said, need to wait til early feb for them to change a new fan. In the meanwhile they will provide a standing fan. Better than nothing. I hope their early feb is 1st of feb since today is 31st jan, so means tomorrow! Haha. I guess I will stay outside as much as possible to avoid the irritating fan. rawr!

Win-win

Today marks the end of week 1 and start of week 2. So far so good. My first arts module - South East Asia: A Changing Region is not as bad as I thought it would be. The lecturers and tutors are quite fun, never encounter such spontaneous lecturers before. While browsing through the schedules for the lectures and tutorials for the semester, the lecturer said something like this:"On the 12 April I have a party going on in my house so I will probably get drunk and will not be able to make it for lecture the next day, so Gerard (the co-lecturer) can take over that lecture." Hahah. And Gerard likes beer. I am getting some very interesting lecturers. This may not be the easiest module for a science student to read, not to mention my english is way far from the benchmark. The readings really take up a lot of my time so I am trying to read as much as possible before I get busy. Most of the time I need to re-read the passage to get a better insight what is the whole idea of the passage is about. But, as long it is an interesting module and I get to learn lots and lots of stuff then I am satisfied.

I was thinking about stuff, about my umaiya lunch that I had during new year. And I knew I made the correct decision when I decided to postpone the buffet lunch to accompany my relatives. During that point of time, I knew the right decision that I needed to make- which is to forgo the lunch. But being an absolute stubborn person, I really wanted to go for the lunch cuz I have been looking forward for so long. And there might not be another opportunity anytime soon. Sometimes, I know the correct decision to make or do, just that my heart is unwilling. But I talked myself through and forgo the lunch. I guess it was worth it, seeing my relatives happy with all their shopping, though it was really exhausting makes me happy too. What are the chances that we can bring them out? Umaiya will ALWAYS be there and there will be a second chance, just the matter of time. And true enough, though on the waiting list, but in the end we get to go during new year day! This is the win-win situation that I did not expect. And we get to go as a family. If we went during the first time, dad would not make it. So yea, that makes things even better. I guess that was the best thing that happened during the one month when I was back home.

Will be heading back this thursday for cny, not knowing when is the next time I will get to go back after this time. Might not be going back during recess week. And this will be the first time if it really happens. Plus I might have to do special term after this semester so I need to be here for one and a half month more. But I will still get to go back after that, just that I need to wait longer. Many uncertainties but I trust that God will provide me with a win-win situation.

Singapura-pura

It has been a year plus, but goodbyes are always the hardest. Yup, I am back in Singapore. Term is going to start next monday. Have been feeling sickish for the past one week, ever since I came back from camp. Flu is gone, but is suffering from sore throat now. However, it is getting better, though am not in the best condition to start a new semester. Feeling a little scared right now and the feeling of having another semester have not sunk in yet. I just need some time to get used to it and psycho myself to study harder everyday.

I guess I will have to sleep without pillow, blanket and bedsheet tonight since my clustermate is not back yet (I think. She is currently uncontactable) and I stored my stuff in her room. Let's hope she will be back asap! Hopefully tomorrow? Please give me good night sleep. Thanks.

Berbonding-bonding

After 2 or 3 weeks being back, yesterday was the first time meeting up with friends. Everytime I come back home, the friends around are getting lesser, plus local uni has no holidays now, so that makes friends that are around even lesser. The closer ones are all gone now. I was at Papa Rich last week with my dad and for one moment, it brought back memories of me and WN hanging around there. Going out together used to be so easy, one sms and after 15 minutes her car will be waiting outside my house and there we go. Oh well, things have changed.

Initially, I only planned to meet with SK, but sms-ed with YS the night before and I asked him to join along. The most bizarre thing that happened that day: I was sms-ing CY while I was on my way to mv talking about meeting up the next day. After a few text messages, our conversation ended. Then, I was at mv, strolling around, waiting for SK and YS to arrive. I was at vincci when SK called, I picked up the call and walked out the store. Guessed who I saw, CY! I smacked him on his back and when he turned around, he was shocked for a second and after that keep asking me why you here why you here -.- haha. While all these happened I was still directing SK on the phone. hahaha. After the 4 of us gathered, I jokingly said there will be more friends that we will meet later. And true enough, while we were having snowflake, we saw TK and denise! Denise was saying she just bought monolopy deal, which, CY was saying before this he forgot to bring his one!

As for today, met up with CY again, yesterday's one was unintentional, today's one is the real one. haha. SJ joined us during his lunch break. From tmn megah we switched to tropicana city mall and we had a full 6 solid hours of catching up! The only remaining members of liulang. 唉~